The Drama Codependent
I felt the need to write a post on this topic because I know people who may be currently suffering with this. As they say, "knowledge is power" and if "you know better, you do better" (hopefully). Maybe this bit of information that I share here will help.
So what is a drama codependent? This is someone who is so used to having so much constant negative drama in their life that they don't recognize peace when it shows up as a pleasant or desirable place to be and remain.
Some people are quite frankly addicted to what's called "excited misery". After a while some become so used to involving their emotions with problems and crises that they get and stay involved in situations some of which may not even be or should be their concern. Some even start making troubles greater than they actually are to create stimulation for themselves.
When the drama codependent DOES detach from the drama situation and their life becomes somewhat peaceful, they crave excitement therefore repeating the cycle of seeking out the next drama fix. Many times this is at a subconscious level because if you ask them, they will swear that drama finds them and they will take little if any responsibility for any of it.
"We invite people into our lives to behave badly and then get angry when they do." ~ Iyanla Vanzant
After being used to so much turmoil, peace and serenity seem like a dull place to be. So what can one do? "As we develop our lives, set goals, and find things to do that interest us, peace will become comfortable, more comfortable than the chaos. We will no longer need nor desire excited misery." This is obviously a process and takes practice...recognizing it first, then actively changing the behaviour. It is up to us as individuals to get honest with ourselves about how we contribute to our quality of life, or lack thereof. We should find creative ways to fill those needs of excitement with wiser choices and open our eyes fully to people and situations that are not in our best interest. Setting proper boundaries is also key. This will keep the misery out of our lives.
"When you see crazy coming, cross the street!" ~ Iyanla Vanzant
"When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them." ~ Maya Angelou
Quoted excerpts from "Codependent No More", by Melody Beattie
Additonal quotes by Iyanla Vanzant